Since my job was restructured last year~ I have been able to recuperate from my last teaching job. A job that started off as a great place to work and I thought it was my dream job but after the first year~ it became a nightmare. The director though a nice man ~ he is also a very weak administrator so there was no follow up on discipline or support given to staff. Even though I was the most experienced on staff and the oldest and the most grounding I still needed support especially since I was put into a nearly impossible position. Full time special education teacher (or in charge of all the paperwork and making sure all the services were being met and teaching 4 history classes. I thought at first no problem~ the director understands this is a big job he will support me. But nope he didn’t in fact when I asked him for help and even gave him suggestions as to what would help me do my job better and/ or make things easier for me. He actually gave me more responsibilities. WTF? dude seriously? But the guy has some serious passive aggressive issues. I started to push back too. I didn’t make any attempt to waste my time doing pointless paperwork such as writing out my lesson plans in a complete format ~ and I told him I felt like I had more important things to do like actually teach rather than fill out some sheet that he would look at once and then forget about checking on it ever again, ok I didn’t say that to him but I had noticed had been his MO.
When he told me he was going to restructure my position, I told him good luck with that. And good luck finding someone to fill my shoes. Well, he then restructured it to what I had originally suggested to him but he waited to tell me that on the last day of school. And told me I could reapply if I wanted. Well, that and I needed to pass this fvkkcing exam that has nothing to do with special ed. As of this writing, I am still waiting to hear if I pass it or not again. I was angry at first ~ feeling like he never appreciated me. Well, seriously he didn’t until it was too late. I did speak to him and told him my issues and I recommended he think about going into another field where he could actually make a difference instead of holding back progress at the school. He rolled his eyes at me~ asshole. So he lost all 5 of his teachers. He had lost 5 teachers the year before too. But he was saving the collab. money by hiring new inexperienced teachers every year. The program be damned.
But I would not have been ready to return to work back in mid-august ~ the woman I lived with was dying. I was still feeling burned out, and I had that exam to retake. eye roll! But lucky me~ I could get an unemployment check. So I go through the motions~ applying for jobs and re-writing cover letters. But this time has given me time to think and appreciate. I will write later about Marion’s death but if I had been teaching I wouldn’t have been an option to assist and then be apart of her transitioning. I am reading books, going to the beach, spending time with Lucy, hiking in the woods, think about my own health and write letters. We don’t know what the future holds for us~ and sometimes we are giving such sweet little gifts thrown in among the sludge.